Complaining

I googled "Why do people complain", and this is by far the most enlightening response I found.People have had to deal with complaining ever since Moses (Exodus 14:21; Numbers 11:1, etc.). "Complaining mode" seems to be the default setting for media coverage of elections and candidates as well as of junior high lunch rooms. And I admit that I complain, too - sometimes about complainers! And I don't like myself so well when I complain. So if you catch me not practicing the wisdom below, call me on it!

From http://supersonicsuccess.com/blog/why-do-you-complain

Why Do You Complain?
March 23rd, 2008

Did you know that complaining is severely damaging to your health, financial success and your entire life?
Studies have shown people who complain frequently tend to have poor health, less satisfying and enduring relationships, and don’t tend to do as well in their jobs or make as much money.

The key to getting what you want in life is focusing your energy and attention on what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. By complaining, the focus is always on what’s wrong, what’s going badly.

So why do people continue to do it?

Well first of all, it’s a habit. Most people have been doing it their entire lives. In fact, the majority don’t even realize they’re doing it half the time. Most people complain much more frequently than they think they do.

Don’t believe me? For the next 24 hours, pay attention to how many people begin a conversation with you by whining about something that didn’t go the way they wanted it to.

The most common reasons why people complain (and why it can be so difficult to stop) are:

- It’s a good conversation starter.
It’s much easier to begin a conversation with someone and find a common ground by complaining. (Can you believe it’s going to rain AGAIN today?…).
To get over this particular hurdle, rather than use a complaint to start talking to someone - complement them. It’s a much more positive way to start a conversation.

- Complaining keeps people from taking action.
This is the #1 reason most people complain. That way they can procrastinate and have plenty of excuses why they aren’t reaching their goals. There’s always a reason why it’s not possible to do what needs to be done. It’s much easier to complain about it than it is to find a solution.
Not only that, but for some crazy reason, we’ve been taught that it’s okay to talk negatively about yourself, but it’s not okay to “brag” about what’s going well!

- Preexcuses failure
Another very common reason people complain is to pre excuse failure. For instance, walking to a meeting late while complaining about how bad the traffic was, how there was a huge line at the dry cleaner, etc.
It takes all the responsibility off of that person, they no longer have to own up to the fact that they should have left earlier or been more prepared.

The first step to stop complaining is to become aware of it, then replace that complaint about what you don’t like, with what you do want.

The goal is not to act like everything is great and pretend you are no longer bothered by anything, but instead to seek out solutions.

Instead of playing the victim and simply stating that the situation is not what you want - figure out what you DO want, and seek to create that.

What can you do about the situation? Don’t look for problems, look for solutions.