Monday, February 4, 2013
Why we disagree
1. Whether a given course of action will harm people or care for them
2. Whether it will effect fairness and reciprocity
3. Whether or not it expresses in-group loyalty
4. Whether it is consistent with respect for authority
5. Whether or not it adheres to the principles of purity and sacredness
Haidt says that our ethical decisions depend on which of these criteria we give the most weight to.
This raises the question of the criteria that Jesus typically used in the choices he made about sabbath observation, diet, response to Roman imperial rule, touching lepers, associating with recognized "sinners," sexual behavior, and so on.
It seems clear that Jesus had low regard for 3 and 5. In Luke 4, for example, he implies that he and his fellow Jews are no more favored by God than other peoples. (His congregation gets really angry about that one.) In Mark 7 he tossed all the dietary laws that his people believed had been given them by God through Moses. Real purity has to do with the heart, our attitudes and intentions. Jesus quotes Hosea 6:6, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."
On the other hand, Jesus cared for people by healing them on the sabbath in violation of popular beliefs about it being sacred, and repeated stories and maxims in which the first wind up last and the last first. So criteria 1 and 2 seem to be highly valued by Jesus.
Criterion 4 is trickier. Jesus critics saw him as disobeying God, whereas he saw them as misunderstanding what the Scriptures really taught. Both Jesus and his opponents claimed to be obeying God, and both quoted Scripture.
Here is a principle: Scripture by itself cannot be appealed to as the ultimate authority, for it itself undermines such a position. To take the Bible seriously means to recognize that it sets itself up as a dialogue of many different voices, not as an authoritative, unique voice. Readers must figure out what it means to respect God's authority.
Jesus redefines authority. He "rules" not by coercion, but by love and persuasion. Since Christians worship God as seen in Jesus, God's authority is to be understood, according to the highest of the teachings of the Bible on the subject, as honoring God's gifting us with the power and right to author life and order and beauty.
So yes, Jesus places a high value on Criterion 4, but radically redefines it so that it doesn't mean what is usually understood.
Which of the five criteria do you emphasize most in your ethical choices?
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The question mark is the key to the title. Kevin's full-length documentary includes interviews with the entire spectrum of Christian scholars and leaders on whether the traditional doctrine of hell is true.
I was pleased to learn that it will be showing at the Gateway Theater next to the Ohio State main campus on January 20-23.
Go to www.hellboundthemovie.com to watch the trailer and for additional info.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
The discussion led by Neil Conan raises a number of significant questions that Evangelicals do not always face squarely and with genuine curiosity.
For example, is it really necessary for there to have been an actual original human couple and a "fall" into sin for Christ to be the hope of the world? Dr. Mohler's particular definition of Christianity hangs on his literal interpretation of Genesis and all of the Bible. But from the beginning of Christianity there have been other understandings of the gospel that do not share his assumption.
Brian McLaren, in A New Kind of Christianity, explains how Mohler's concept of the gospel comes from his assuming an old Greek philosophical narrative through which he interprets the Bible. That's where he gets the sharp opposition between natural and supernatural, for example.
Through careful scientific inquiry, we know much more than the writers of Genesis or the apostle Paul did. Since all truth is God's truth, new knowledge about human origins and the formation of the Bible can only clarify our faith by helping to rid it of mistaken ideas based on ignorance. There is no reason to embrace unnecessary ignorance.
I'll post links tomorrow to a couple of sites that treat both the gospel and knowledge with appropriate care.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
http://www.npr.org/2012/10/08/162377026/christians-divided-over-science-of-human-origins
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Insight into some Muslim reactions
If you are interested in understanding others, I am finding Brian McLaren's new book helpful and stimulating. It's called "Why Did Jesus, Moses, The Buddha and Mohammed Cross the Road? Christian Identity in a Multi-Faith World."http://www.djiboutijones.com/2012/09/honor-and-shame.html
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The Gospel in 7 Words
Citations from the Common English Bible
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Many of the comments are very interesting.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Love Wins!
Mohler's critique of Love Wins
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Discussing the Bible: Seven Rules of Engagement
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
TIME cover story on Rob Bell's Love Wins
You are invited, whatever your religious or philosophical persuasion or doubts.
Here is the TIME story:
TIME on Rob Bell and Hell
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Japan and God
http://theotherjournal.com/2011/03/23/faith-beyond-all-answers-a-response-to-john-piper’s-theodicy/
Monday, January 24, 2011
The Jesus-Shaped Life
- I receive his Spirit who gives me power and his Word that tells me who I am, what my identity is as a child of God (Matt. 3:16-17; John 1:12). Move from feeling-based living to identity-based living.
- I embrace and keep in mind the hope of the resurrection and restoration of all things that God has promised (Heb. 12:1-2; Eph. 1:9-10; Col. 1:16,20; Acts 3:21). Move from low aims (or none at all) to the highest aim.
- I gladly obey everything God says (Matt. 3:15; Phil. 2:7-8). Since (unlike Jesus - 1 Pet. 2:22) I have sinned, I repent of my sins – changing my heart and my life – by naming and admitting to God and to another person all my sins and character defects (Matt. 3:2,8; 1 John 1:9; James 5:16), and doing all I can to make things right (Luke 19:8). Move from being led by self and others to being led by to God.
- I recognize and deal decisively with every test and temptation in both their surface and deep aspects (Matt. 4:1-11). Move from passivity to decisiveness.
- I ask God daily for guidance and help, and in every decision and difficulty (Luke 6:12-13; John 5:19,30). Move from listening to self and others to listening to God.
- I choose and invest myself in a community that the Father gives me to share life with (John 17:9; Mark 3:14; 14:32-34). Move from a lone ranger to a do-it-together mindset.
- I minister life and blessing (help, hope, healing, deliverance, reconciliation) to others in Jesus’ name (John 14:12; 20:21; Matt. 10:7-8). Move from wanting to giving.
- I seek to know the Father, his heart, his ways and his purpose, more deeply and truly (Matt. 11:27; 5:43-48; John 17:3). Move from indifference to interest.
- I confront darkness in myself and in the world by spiritual, not worldly, means (John 1:5,9; 2 Cor. 10:3-5). Move from inaction to action.
- I embrace suffering and hardship that come my way in the confidence that God will bring good out of it (Heb. 5:8; Luke 22:42; 2 Cor. 12:9-10; Rom. 8:28-29). Move from fear to trust.
- I persevere, never giving up on God or giving in to darkness, even in death (Luke 9:51,62; Matt. 27:46; 2 Cor. 6:4). Move from weakness to strength in Christ.
- I forgive, in Christ’s name, all who have wronged me in any way, and do what is possible towards reconciliation (Mark 2:5; Luke 23:34). Move from bitterness and hardness to mercy.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
What is a leader?
So I want to put my idea on the line and see where it leads us. We have one leader, and his name is Jesus. I want to bang this home with a quotation from Jesus from Matthew 23, where he seems to be staring at the glow of leadership in the eyes of his disciples, and he does nothing short of deconstructing the glow:
But you are not to be called “Rabbi,” for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth “father,” for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
Instead of seeing myself as a leader, I see myself as a follower. Instead of plotting how to lead, I plot how to follow Jesus with others. Instead of seeing myself at the helm of some boat—and mine is small compared to many others—I see myself in the boat, with Jesus at the helm.Amen!
Monday, November 29, 2010
a time to tear down | A Time to Build Up » The Benefit of Doubt: Coming to Terms with Faith in a Postmodern Era
Peter Enns expresses well what I have experienced and been learning about spiritual doubt through the years. Doubt is not something to fear, but something to embrace, for it is the door to a truer knowledge of God and to a deeper faith.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Church Year Spirituality
http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/church-year-spirituality
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Next Christians
1. Provoked, not offended
2. Creators, not critics
3. Called, not employed
4. Grounded, not distracted
5. In community, not alone
6. Countercultural, not "relevant"
Lyons calls the Next Christians "Restorers": "because they envision the world as it was meant to be and they work toward that vision."
Thursday, November 11, 2010
20-Somethings and churches
My son or my daughter is a Christian but has no use for church.What can I do about it?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Open Worship
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Postings today on Jesus Creed blog
I have a couple of comments posted (so far).
Sunday, July 11, 2010
First Person: Classical sounds call friend to mind
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Do Worship and Patriotism Mix?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
My list of Jesus' words that convince me
Here is my (not) short list of words of Jesus that convince me that he is worth following. (“Convince” come from two Latin words that mean “conquer with.” So these are words with which I have been “conquered”):
- “If you only love those who love you, what makes you different from anyone else?”
- “Come you me, you that are burdened, and I will give you rest.”
- “Do you want to be made whole?”
- “Blessed are the poor in spirit, the grieving, the humble, those who hunger and thirst for things to be put right, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, those who are mistreated for doing what is right.”
- “I am the Resurrection and the Life. The one who trusts in me will never die.”
- “Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not religious observances.’ For I came not to call those who have it all together, but those who have lost their way.”
- “I have compassion on the crowd.”
- “What will it profit someone if they gain the whole world and lose their soul?”
- “Treat others the way you want them to treat you.”
- “Truly I say to you, as you have done to the least of these, you did it to me.”
- “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
- “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
- “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Words of Jesus as Gospel
In October 2001, Paolo Ricca, then leader of the Italian Baptists, presented a wonderful two-day conference on telling people the "evangel," or good news. In his talk on what our message is as Christians, Ricca invited us to think about what convinces us to follow Jesus ourselves. He cited the four things about Jesus that convinced him: Jesus' words, his life, his death, and his resurrection.
It was the first of these that surprised me. In all I had heard and read on the subject over the years, I think Ricca was the first to suggest the words of Jesus as a key element in the Christian message. When you think about it, that's pretty surprising!
Ricca gave his short list of the words of Jesus that convinced him:
- "Love your enemies."
- "The last shall be first, and the first last."
- "Call no one on earth your Father, for you have one Father - the one in heaven."
- "This person, too, is a descendant of Abraham."
- "Truly I tell you that even in Israel I have not found such great faith."
What is your short list of the words of Jesus that you would highlight in explaining the good news to someone? I'll post my list tomorrow.
Monday, May 24, 2010
The Words of Jesus: A Gospel of the Sayings of Our Lord
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Five things you would tell a new follower of Jesus
If you could tell a new follower of Jesus the five most important elements of following Jesus, what would they be?
1. Forgive all who have hurt you.
2. Seek forgiveness of all whom you have wronged.
3. Let your memory and imagination and attitudes be transformed by the Gospel of the love of God in Christ.
4. Pray (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication, submission).
5. Do all this together with others.
I also appreciated comments by others mentioning casting out all idols and one’s finances in order.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
New Truth and the Mayflower Pastor
"I Charge you before God and his blessed angels that you follow me no further than you have seen me follow Christ. If God reveal anything to you by any other instrument of His, be as ready to receive it as you were to receive any truth from my ministry, for I am verily persuaded the Lord hath more truth and light yet to break forth from His holy word.
"The Lutherans cannot be drawn to go beyond what Luther saw. Whatever part of His will our God has revealed to Calvin, they (Lutherans) will rather die than embrace it; and the Calvinists, you see, stick fast where they were left by that great man of God, who yet saw not all things. This is a misery much to be lamented.
"For though they were precious shining lights in their time, yet God has not revealed his whole will to them. And were they now living, they would be as ready and willing to embrace further light, as they had received."
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Robinson_(pastor)#cite_note-3
Isn't this an inspiring mindset to have?
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Listening to Preaching
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2008/septemberweb-only/139-31.0.html
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Twilight and New Moon films
http://www.annarbor.com/entertainment/parenting/the-twilight-saga-new-moon-important-questions-for-teens-and-tweens/
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Two Thumbs Up...
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Christianity Today - New Link
Friday, June 26, 2009
Freedom
Friday, June 12, 2009
Worship is a model for life
v. 1-2 - Seeing God
v. 3-4 - Praise
v. 5 - Confession
v. 6-7 - Cleansing
v. 8a - Hearing God's Word
v. 8b - Commitment
v. 9ff. - Commissioning
As in all religions, Christian worship is a model for life. The seven stages of Isaiah's encounter with the living God (John 12:36-41 indicates that it was the Son of God that he saw on the throne) become, then, a suggested itinerary for finding our way through a day and through our lifetime. Let's aim to make this our experience.
(Thanks to Dr. Bruce Leafblad in a D. Min. course at Bethel Seminary for the analysis of Isaiah 6 as a model for worship, and to Dr. Mathias Zahniser of Asbury Seminary for the idea of worship as a model for living.)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Book of Revelation
Here is a taste of how Bauckham brings out the meaning of Revelation for all generations. He shows that the image of the 144,000 (7:2 and 14:1-5) is a symbol of the church, portrayed as the Messiah's army who combats idolatry not with material weapons but by means of moral uprightness, their faithful testimony, and their following the Lamb wherever he goes, including to the death.
Then he suggests that the multitude that no one can number in 7:9-17 is also a symbol of the church, redeemed from all nations and peoples to worship God and the Lamb.
Finally, the two witnesses in 11:1-13 are also a symbol representing the church in its prophetic witness to the pagan nations, in the lineage of Moses and Elijah. They preach repentance to all the nations and peoples, who repent and begin to worship the one true God.
So the 144,000 = the countless multitude for all nations = the two witnesses who bring the nations to repentance and true faith = the church, the people of God in all times and places, including you and me. Far from leading us to speculate about who the 144,000 or the two witnesses might be in some future time with no relation to us, Bauckham's sensitive discernment of the imagery of revelation draws us right into the mission of God here and now.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
How we change
[W]e know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.How can just seeing someone, even the risen Christ, change us so completely?
The recent delight in Susan Boyle's unexpected performance on "Britain Has Talent" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY) illustrates what John is saying. When we watch the clip, we and the audience have a certain set of expectations, reactions and attitudes toward her. When she begins to sing, those attitudes undergo a major shift. Why? Because we have "seen her as she is."
Seeing and knowing someone as they really are changes our attitude toward that person.
Since the meaning of "sin" in the Bible is basically the matter of a wrong attitude toward God, seeing him as he really is, in Christ, will dramatically change our attitude toward God - and toward those things which compete within us for our affection and loyalty (I John 2:15-17).
The heart, therefore, in overcoming sin in our lives is not to try to focus on the sins and trying to keep them under control, but to focus on getting to know God better. The more deeply and truly we know God intimately, the more our sins will be both apparent and abhorrent to us.
So let's constantly pray, "Lord, reveal more of yourself to me and us. Show me and us more of what you are really like. Increase omy and our affection for you."
Friday, April 24, 2009
Personal reflections on asking
Here are some less-than-helpful things that I have found myself doing rather than asking someone to do something:
- Expecting people to know what I would like them to do (How dumb is that?)
- Complaining to someone else
- Worrying about what is going to happen
- Feeling frustrated
On the other hand, I find that the more I ask in the patient, considerate and respectful way that Willard describes, the more I find myself giving thanks for all that God has already done. I also find myself growing in appreciation for that person. And, of course, worrying less, complaining less, being much less frustrated.
Is your experience similar to this? A bit different?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Asking (Part 3)
And as long as we respect them before God, and are thoughtful and gracious, we can keep asking, in appropriate ways, keep seeking and keep knocking on the door of their lives. We should note that the ask-seek-knock teaching first applies to our approach to others, not to prayer to God. We respect and never forget that the latch of the heart is within. We are glad for that fact and would not override it. We can gently but persistently keep our hopeful expectation before them and at the same time before God. Asking is indeed the great law of the spiritual world through which things are accomplished in cooperation with God and yet in harmony with the freedom and worth of every individual.What do you think? What speaks the most to you in the excerpt we have read these past three days? How is it different from our usual approach? Do you agree with Willard that the ask-seek-knock teaching applies first to our relationships with each other? Why might this be important? How might Willard's insight affect our approach to evangelism? To family and church relationships?
I am interested in your thoughts!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Asking (Part 2)
I may quickly begin to appear to them as a possible ally and resource. Now they begin to sense their problem to be the situation they have created, or possibly themselves. Because I am no longer trying to drive them, genuine communication, real sharing of hearts, becomes an attractive possibility. The healing dynamic of the request comes naturally into play. And this is ... how to really be of help to those near us (Matt. 7:7-11).We might want to respond that we also need to ask God to change us. Willard deals with that subject in most of the book. The quotation we are meditating on challenges us to change the way we go about helping each other change.
When we stand thus in the kingdom, our approach to influencing others, for their good as well as ours, will be simply to ask: to ask to change, and to help them in any way they ask of us. It is a natural extension of this dynamic when we turn to ask God to work in their lives and hearts. to bring about changes. These changes will certainly involve more than any conscious choice they could make or we could desire."
Isn't it amazing how hard it is for us in the situation to even think of the possibility of asking another person to change something?
More on this next time.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Asking
The Dynamic of the Request
The most important element in the transformation [of personal relationships] is this: As long as I am condemning my friends or relatives, or pushing my 'pearls' on them, I am their problem. They have to respond to me, and that usually leads to their 'judging' me right back, or 'biting' me, as Jesus said.The continuation of this quote from Dallas Willard next time.
But once I back away, maintaining a sensitive and nonmanipulative presence, I am no longer their problem. As I listen, they do not have to protect themselves from me, and they begin to open up. (p. 231)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"Merry Christmas"?
Well, first off, there is the tone. When I listen to it with the ears of a non-Christian, it comes across as in-my-face, cocky, even aggressive. That is not how Jesus approached people. The songwriter seem to have failed to think through whether the aim is to draw people winsomely to Christ or to score a point.
In addition to the tone, there is the message itself. "I remember when people used to say, 'Merry Christmas!' to each other" (including to "Mr. Lowenstein"). So there is nostalgia for a golden age when "everyone" mouthed the words, "Merry Christmas," even when they didn't believe them, as the song indicates. That mythical golden age was also a time when the descendants of the slaves suffering the indignity of legal segregation and discrimination by some of the very people using the expression in question.
Second, the song confuses the Church with society as a whole. But Christmas is a Christian celebration. We live in a civilization that has, since the 4th century, been nominally Christian. Those days are gone, and will not return, nor should they. There is no reason why Christians should want everyone in society to use the hallowed expression of the past. I cannot help but wonder why some feel the need to get everyone to say the words.
I like to wish people a Blessed Christmas. "Merry" goes back to when Christmas was largely a season of carousing and drunkenness in England (despite "God rest ye merry, gentlemen...").
So here is wishing you and yours a Blessed Christmas, in all its glorious and weighty meaning!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Gospel
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Reading the Bible with Scot McKnight
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Truth and the Presidential Election
Dear friends -
After some hesitation, I have decided to share my thoughts on this forwarded e-mail. Or perhaps just one principle thought: This e-mail purports to reveal inaccurate and misleading statements by Barack Obama. My expectation for such a serious group of charges is that they be carefully worded and thoroughly documented. In the Bible the standard for accepting an accusation is that there be two credible witnesses. If there are not two credible witnesses, or even one, the accusation does not stand. To this we may add the excellent American principle that a person is to be presumed innocent until proven guilty.
In light of this, here are my problems with the e-mail:
1. It claims to have been written by a former associate of Billy Graham. But the Bill Brown who was a member of the BGEA, when contacted, expressly denies having written it. See http://www.brianmclaren.net/archives/blog/naivete-cynicism-and-wisdom.html
(I googled "Bill Brown BGEA".)
2. I checked the reference to accusation #7 in the e-mail, which was the point that I found most shocking, and found no evidence of any sort supporting the accusation.
3. The tone of the e-mail is thoroughly un-Christian, we who are to "Honor everyone" (I Peter 2:17).
So let us as Christians hold firm to the teaching of Psalm 15 and so be salt and light to the nation during this election process: Who does not slander with his tongue, ... nor take up a reproach against his neighbor.
One of our roles as Christians is to hold the world accountable to the truth. Regardless of what candidate we prefer, a Christian never wants to win at the cost of the truth.
Feel free to share these thoughts with others. And your reactions and comments are welcome.
Mark Farmer
Monday, August 25, 2008
Chrysalis
http://www.jesuscreed.org/
Hopefully it is understandable enough for folks who haven't read the book.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Do Hard Things
I'm a third of the way through the book, and plenty of it is for whatever age we happen to be. This, for example:
Alyssa Chua, a seventeen-year-old ... from the Philippines, explained her pattern this way: 'My comfort zone was the place where everything was just the way I wanted it to be; a situation where I never had to make extra effort or do something difficult; a place I could sit back, relax and enjoy myself.'The authors go on to put their finger on the real issue:
The problem, she told us, was that she stayed inside her comfort zone, she was essentially refusing to surrender her life fully to God; she was avoiding the hard things He was calling her to do.
What we're really saying is that we don't want to do things that come easily or naturally. We don't want to break through our fears. And by our actions, we're also saying that God isn't good and powerful enough to help us do what we can't comfortably do on our own.Alex and Brett describe another young man who, unlike Alyssa, spent his life avoiding taking that first step out of his comfort zone. "The result? He's basically the same person he's always been."
Monday, August 18, 2008
Seeking the truth about God
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,402483,00.html
Near the end of the interview is the puzzling phrase "a 100-person peace when Jesus returns." This is no doubt a misprint for "a 100 percent peace...."
Teaching a person to think and explore for themselves instead of blindly following what they have been taught is one key to world evangelization. The French writer Jean-Claude Guillebaud, in Re-founding the World, writes that Jesus himself emphasized the individual's responsibility to search out the truth and follow it (him). Luke 9:59-60 is one example of this. And this indivudual responsibility is one of the founding pillars of the Baptist movement.
This applies as well to the children of Christians. In his book Chrysalis, Alan Jamieson raises the question in the final chapter of how churches can be safe places for people who have grown up in the church to ask their questions about matters in the Bible and in Christianity that trouble them.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Gospel Presentation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCVcSiUUMhY
Saturday, June 21, 2008
More on how to not complain
The article cited in our previous post suggested looking for solutions to problems instead of complaining and blaming. In addition to that, the disciple of Jesus can also replace complaining thoughts with thankfulness. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." So Paul in Philippians 4:8. The work of taking every thought captive to obey Christ (II Cor. 10:5) begins with myself. It's such a better way to live.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Complaining
From http://supersonicsuccess.com/blog/why-do-you-complain
Why Do You Complain?
March 23rd, 2008
Did you know that complaining is severely damaging to your health, financial success and your entire life?
Studies have shown people who complain frequently tend to have poor health, less satisfying and enduring relationships, and don’t tend to do as well in their jobs or make as much money.
The key to getting what you want in life is focusing your energy and attention on what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. By complaining, the focus is always on what’s wrong, what’s going badly.
So why do people continue to do it?
Well first of all, it’s a habit. Most people have been doing it their entire lives. In fact, the majority don’t even realize they’re doing it half the time. Most people complain much more frequently than they think they do.
Don’t believe me? For the next 24 hours, pay attention to how many people begin a conversation with you by whining about something that didn’t go the way they wanted it to.
The most common reasons why people complain (and why it can be so difficult to stop) are:
- It’s a good conversation starter.
It’s much easier to begin a conversation with someone and find a common ground by complaining. (Can you believe it’s going to rain AGAIN today?…).
To get over this particular hurdle, rather than use a complaint to start talking to someone - complement them. It’s a much more positive way to start a conversation.
- Complaining keeps people from taking action.
This is the #1 reason most people complain. That way they can procrastinate and have plenty of excuses why they aren’t reaching their goals. There’s always a reason why it’s not possible to do what needs to be done. It’s much easier to complain about it than it is to find a solution.
Not only that, but for some crazy reason, we’ve been taught that it’s okay to talk negatively about yourself, but it’s not okay to “brag” about what’s going well!
- Preexcuses failure
Another very common reason people complain is to pre excuse failure. For instance, walking to a meeting late while complaining about how bad the traffic was, how there was a huge line at the dry cleaner, etc.
It takes all the responsibility off of that person, they no longer have to own up to the fact that they should have left earlier or been more prepared.
The first step to stop complaining is to become aware of it, then replace that complaint about what you don’t like, with what you do want.
The goal is not to act like everything is great and pretend you are no longer bothered by anything, but instead to seek out solutions.
Instead of playing the victim and simply stating that the situation is not what you want - figure out what you DO want, and seek to create that.
What can you do about the situation? Don’t look for problems, look for solutions.
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